Annie and Manhattan

August 11, 2011

Once upon a dream, there were a boy named Manhattan and a girl named Annie. She loved him so much with all her heart. And Manhattan was nothing but nice and lovely to her all the time. Annie was pretty sure, without a slight of hesitation, that Manhattan would finally declare his pure and everlasting love to her.

All days and nights Annie waited for him to say the words. She had been waiting with an unbelievable kind of patience and smiles. In other hand, Manhattan gave back her kindness and smiles with his lovely way of act, like he usually did but more.

But as my dream started to fade away, Manhattan never said to Annie the words she desperately wanted to hear. They remained nothing but a lovely nothing. Continue reading “Annie and Manhattan”


what did you do?
wonder where your heart came from.
what have you done?
my only friend keep on wonder or leave;
turn into winter light;
keeping your strength when it gets dark at night.

what you’re feeling is what I’m feeling too.
what you’re made of is what I’m made of too.
what are you afraid of? I know what you are.

ephemeral dreams

I noticed that the dreams have changed in these past several years. When I was younger—my adolescent years—I used to have a lot of painfully breathtaking dreams in various kinds: romantic, frightening, adventurous, fantastical, or even erotic. Not that I now don’t have any of those kind of dreams, but the dreams I’ve had nowadays seem a lot less epic—they didn’t make impressions. I used to have dreams that had a very good story and exciting plot—the ones that were so vivid and everytime I woke up from it, the scenes burned in the back of head.

I once had this dream in which I was running down the road of my neighbourhood in the middle of the night, getting away from a pack of foul creatures. These creatures were so frightening I felt so helpless. But when I was about to give up running, the scenery before me turned in to a magnificent view. The sky above the road I was running to was vast, deep, and clear. All and all I forget about the boring foul creatures or how the night felt thickly dark and cold. All that mattered was the sky before me looked crystal and the stars were shimmering at their brightest state. It was calming and frightening at the same time. The next moment, an object—extraterrestrial one—was heading towards me. As it got bigger to my sight, the object became clearer. To my surprise, it was a planet, getting closer to me like it was about to hit me but it did not. It flew past me just above my head. Then the other planets did the same thing—one after another: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. The look of those titanic objects hover before my eyes felt so surreal and scary—not that I-wanted-t0-get-away-from-it kind, but the so-divine-it-made-my-heart-falter kind. It was a divine dream. After all these years I could never forget those scenes in my head.

I love reading or watching fictions, or even imagining ones. That habit is I believe one of the things that keep the fantasy world inside my head flourished. But things got a lot more complicated when I entered my adult years and got into college. Since then my brain seemed to be working on the “reality” mode more often. Nowadays my mind seems so cloudy and under oppression. I find a lot more difficulties to enter my calm and blissful-mind state than before. Only in such state my fantastical imagination works at its best. But I hardly have the luxury of it anymore. The kind of dream I mentioned above is the one I hardly get these days. My dreams now feel plain, forgettable, insensible, and often meaningless. I don’t quite understand how dreams work, what they mean, or where they come from. Even science has yet had an explanation to it. But one thing I’m certain is that I’m missing the vividly colossal dreams I used to be getting so easily. Sadly all I have now is mere flashes of ephemeral dreams.

2013 in Anime

Japanese Anime is one of the most decent art and entertainment productions in the world. I started watching anime thoroughly after I was fascinated by Studio Ghibli’s films. This year I grow even fonder towards anime and I’ve been having a lot of feelings: happiness, sadness, excitement, sentiment, etc. And naturally I grow fonder to Japanese language. These are 13 notable anime of 2013. Continue reading “2013 in Anime”

Grow a Day Older

Twenty two. That’s a lot of number. God graces me more than I deserve. I never imagined I’d reach this age, become adult, let alone grow old. It is more like I don’t want to picture myself being a grown up, to be exact. I don’t understand why people must grow up. Growing up a year older for me feels like growing up a day older. It’s frightening how, at some points, growing up 22 years feels like growing up 22 days. Life is a flash. It’s a gazillion worth of moments yet it flashes in a speed of light. If I have to recall what part of me that may have changed, they probably be… the way I’m thinking? the way I’m writing? I’m still as lazy as usual. I also don’t think my musical taste is that different from last year. Oh wait! I only read ONE novel this year. That’s worse than last year. See. What I mean is that if I ever did change from what I was last year, it happened six feet under my skin. It is so deep I can’t sense it. My senses are dull for those gazillion moments flashing in a speed of light underneath my skin. I barely grow a day older.


I had a very unpleasant day again. My temperature peaked again. My head hurts. My eyes feels pretty heavy. I’m having a nasal congestion. The right maxillae feels so heavy and painful. My breaths are deep and fast. The fact that my respiratory tract getting more sensitive makes every inhalation feel worse and worse. My body is hurting on many parts.

I don’t have urge to study. What will become of my exams.



hello, world.

my name is randy.
today, i am one of seven point thirteen billion living human on planet Earth.
today, i am 21 years 11 months 16 days old.
today is grey and cold, so is my mood.
As i’m writing this i’m listening to Ellie Goulding. She’s such a sweetheart.
Anyway, i made this website out of compulsiveness and a little bit of a self-celebratory of me turning into 22. Truthfully i have nothing in mind yet about what this new website should be about. But let’s be positive about it. One, i can practice writing here every now and then. Two, i can post stuffs i like; probably about anime or music or book or film or photography or New York City or whatever. Three, maybe i’d sell something in the near or distant future. Either way, it can come in handy someday. Continue reading “hello:こんにちは”